Exuvia

It’s odd… 5.30am, and I’m still fully awake. I’m not sure if it’s those cups of Chinese tea I had, or if it was that latte in the late afternoon. In any case, it’s one of the rarer cases of “I really couldn’t sleep”. Usually plugging into my iPod helps, but not this time.

It’s not like I’m disturbed, distressed, sentimental, inwardly emotional, or in one of those classic staring-at-the-ceiling situations…

My mind is calm. So calm, and at peace, that in fact I’ve managed to garner the best of my chi and actually had to exert a bit of strength in suppressing that ball of energy between my palms.

These few days, it’s hard to fall asleep.

If I were to give a reason… I think it’s that all of a sudden, I’m left with no targets to meet. That thesis and MSc was the last, and final goalpost I had down on my journey planner. As for the next bits… I’ve yet to chart them out – their priorities, and the where, when, what and how. Right now, it’s like… whoa… I’m free. Too free. There are certain projects and tasks I would like to get started on, and start on them I will, real soon. But those aside, on a personal level, I think it’s time for some deep cleansing and refreshening. It’s time to moult into the next instar, and it’s up to me to decide on the form it’ll take.

And just a thought…

I once blogged that “you’d wish there was a Ctrl+Z undo button in life. If not for yourself, then at least for the others.”

Which, now, on second thoughts, I’d rather not there be an ‘undo’ option. This way, every thought, every action, every decision, and every moment, would be so much more precious. And life would be more beautiful too, for what life is.