Last Thursday, when the Straits Times published an article on how Singaporeans stick together overseas in the UK, Xiao texted me early in the morning pointing me to page 6 of the Life! section. We talked about it throughout the course of the day.
Why is it that some of us find the concept of ‘belonging’ and ‘identities’ such major, pressing, issues… those of us who are continually trying to find where ‘home’ is, and where we fit in? We use different terms – ‘global citizens’, ‘internationalised’, and recently gaining widespread popularity is the gem of a term coined by sociologists, called the ‘ATCK‘, or ‘Adult Third Culture Kids’. We hunger for these articles, for phrases we can use to describe ourselves. We thirst for insights, and enjoy conversations revolving around these topics for it help us find our place, and it’s always a comfort to know you’re not alone in feeling lost. The reason why I still have such close friends in Sydney and elsewhere is that we’re all products of a YATCK upbringing, in a way. We can relate to this common situation we find ourselves in, no matter which country we’re currently in.
I had once asked my parents if we were still considered expatriates. Perhaps not, was the answer, since we’re all holding red passports now. But we certainly are living an expat lifestyle. Our mode of living, inclusive of everything from where we live, where we buy our groceries from, where we hang out, how we travel, our consumption habits, the friends we mingle with, our language – Cantonese, and when we’re speaking English, our accents, scream out that we’re not quite locals. I don’t mean to be elitist. I don’t really feel that way. I just feel different. Recently I told my parents that I wished I could be more ‘normal’. To just be a ‘normal’ person (a sentiment which two of my friends share, albeit in a slightly different manner). The saying goes ‘poor have poor problems, the rich have rich problems’. I admit, we’re considered rather well-off, fortunate in many ways, and we’re all spoilt, and I don’t really like that feeling, not only because it alienates me from the society I want to embrace, the friends I want to make (it can get real tough sometimes), and some of the aspirations I seek to achieve, but because this imposes upon me certain expectations and standards to live up to, some set for myself by myself, and some set for myself as a result of the perceived mould that I am being shaped into by my family and our place in society. The problem is, there is no sense of freedom. The Chinese are a highly collectivist people, and I cannot just bring it upon myself to break away. There is, after all, this thing called ‘face’. Not only for myself, but for all those my in-groups. But I digress.
In the environmental circles, we often talk about grassroots activism. We talk about community involvement, about reaching out to heartlanders. Last month’s Asian Youth Leaders’ Forum was organised by the People’s Association Youth Movement, and an overwhelming majority of people I met were grassroots leaders, from the CDCs, CCs, CYCs, YECs and what have you. They talked of things I had difficulty in understanding – projects they were initiating in their constituencies, their wards, upgrading projects, and developments involving partisan/non-partisan, political/non-political entities. I just couldn’t identify. I felt so detached. When one of them asked why wasn’t I active with the grassroots organisations (I answered I had only volunteered with some of the nature/environmental orgs, but not any of the grassroots community groups anywhere), I remember asking somewhat jokingly, “Would they accept a half-blooded Singaporean?” But the truth would be that I simply don’t belong there.
How does one localise in a globalising world?
on Sep 18th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
In a global village where your local expertise is needed. That is the only way I could see myself feeling more normal, representing Hong Kong in the greater international environment.
We are all local to what we are used to, normal to people who know us and the only way we can be happy is to accept we are different.
Just face it! We are too much of a jap but lung to belong anywhere (really).
on Sep 19th, 2007 at 4:09 am
This is interesting, now that you mention. It’s weird how I don’t really think about this and don’t mind where I belongs to, I think I just belongs to where I’m at that moment. A bit like when we don’t belongs to anywhere, we belongs to everywhere. Also the feeling of belonging is a form of attachment I guess. If I have to think about it, I think it’s possible for us and others to feel that we belongs there, but first we can’t think/concentrate on the differences, if we do we are already creating a gap which only ourselves can fill. It takes a lot of effort and time to ‘fit in’. Most of the time, it’s much easier to stick with the people we are used to rather than making the effort, sometimes we it feels like we don’t have a choice.
Also willing to change too, I can’t really say much about this because there are many things I’m not willing to change myself. It can be hard sometimes even when I’m with a close group of friends. May be I’m lucky, I find people who I know are very accepting, and that my family don’t give me much pressure, I can imagine it being very hard if they start. Anyway, an interesting topic, got me thinking for a while, time to go back to the ‘real’ world and do something, I’m happy if I don’t make it worse than it is (???????????).
on Sep 24th, 2007 at 12:49 am
v intersting :D and has been discussed before, I think that I also can belong anywhere, but now that I’ve gotten used to one place for so long that I rather stick to it longer, I feel lazy to move from it, it’s the first place I’ve lived at for more than 4 years! [it's been 8 years now]
and as for uni, well I do like staying in it and being oh so familiar with all the surroundings and knowing where the shortcuts are, the best hangouts, etc.. but people do make a difference, – because lots of my friends have left I’m starting to feel a bit too old and restless and want to move on, charmi feels the same hehe..
so it’s like a conflict really, you want to move on but at the same time the familiarity makes you want to stay.. change or not change, that is the question.. hehe
[my friend who have only ever lived in two places her whole life, find it hard to choose between her home country and her current location.]
on Sep 30th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
in depth, deep
more comment would be great, this is the line of the thesis i am working on.
re identity, we think about identities more often perhaps than some other people, because we are exposed to change in this globalisation and multiculturalism. but a lot of these things come down to individuals which no one can really explain. i mean some persons could integrate into a new culture completely and become part of them, whilst myself bear in mind subconsciencely that i am different.
re belonging, a lot of these comes from accent and appearance, but it is also who you interact with, somehow i am more comfortable with chinese and asians and europeans than austraians and americans and brits. i guess the fact that asians and europes are more aware of the difference in culture and are sensitive to it. but then however i establish myself as a chinese, i am a ATCK, coz i dun mingle well with people fresh from hong kong but neither with ABC only with the transplanted kids. one thing tho, why third culture why not second culture? jac mentioned that chinese is a tight knitted community, i have reservation to that, yes coz there is the trust and norm of reciprocity and curtesy, but no there is also the saying that chinese is ????.
re attachment, even tho i feel belonged to sydney now that i have been here for a while, i remain attached to hong kong coz that’s where i grew up. also on that, i dun think passport and nationality would make much of a difference to the sense of belongging/ attachment.
on Mar 29th, 2010 at 12:36 am
[...] ATCKs are supposed to be experienced, to be able to move from one culture, one setting, to another, with [...]